 For this one, you must win forgiveness from your victim. PULP COUPLET VII (any gender, mid teens through late life) I wish for another way. This isn't a game that I play. Believe me this gives me no thrill. I'd do anything not to kill You but my life to me is worth more. You should have just unlocked my door. Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes. If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"
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 For this one, you must intimidate a rookie robber into life commitment. PULP COUPLET VI (any gender, late twenties through late life) It's time to rob the bank. Don't look at me all blank. You knew that this was coming. I rescued you from slumming And now you'll help me out. Don't backtalk and don't pout. I care for you. I do. But I'm loyal to my crew... Of which you're now a member. We'll rob until November. Then this winter, we'll retire To where it's warmer and it's drier. And then around next fall We'll meet and repeat it all. At least I hope YOU will: This is a bitter pill But we're really never done And anyone who runs... We'll need to hunt them down. But don't fuss and please don't frown. What brought you to my door... You'll deal with nevermore. Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes. If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"  For this one, you must defend yourself against your invisible killer. PULP COUPLET V (any gender, late twenties through late life) Fine. I can't see you And so I can't flee you. That potion you took From our secret notebook Has worked after all. We'd both hit a wall In our work together Fighting about whether The work should be tested. Now your case is rested. You have disappeared And so I now fear You wish me to die. I wish I knew why. Did jealousy rule Our work for the school? If so, then my bad. But I'm not your dad. I didn't abuse you Nor ever did use you The way that he did. But you're not a kid. You'll answer for this. No be ready to be pissed. This formula's cursed For it has no reverse. Not yet anyway. How about I just stay? Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes. If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"  For this one, you must try to save mortals from an angry god. PULP COUPLET IV (any gender, late life) Up here in the clouds My robe feels like a shroud. Zeus, what you say to do Will make the mortals rue The day that they were born. I must obey but mourn My duty to spread plagues Through a city that but begs To farm and live and serve. Yes, their leader had the nerve To do the things he did. But truth from him was hid. He knows not what he is. I spread plague because of this? Zeus, you and I were friends You took lead in the end But I know you even so. Has anger made you go And treat the mortals poor For faults you share and more? Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes. If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"  For this one you must find an opening to fleeing your captor. TEN SECOND MONOLOGUE X (any gender mid teens through mid forties) I know for me there's no escape. There's bars behind the closed drapes. I'm sorry I dissed you. I will not resist you. But you'll be left in no better shape. Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes. If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"  For this one, you must get leniency in order to save the town from a monster TEN SECOND MONOLOGUE (any gender, mid teens through late life) The town must evacuate now. The monster has EATEN your cows. He is not satisfied And won't be pacified. Can you postpone my court date somehow? Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes. If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"  For this one, you must protect your treasure. TEN SECOND MONOLOGUE VIII (any gender, mid twenties through late life) O' Captain and all of the crew Please heed my one warning to you If you come seeking treasure It will be my pleasure To make you all part of my brew. Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes. If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"  For this one, you must begin to bargain with your creator. TEN SECOND MONOLOGUE VII (any gender, mid teens through late life) You created us, that much is clear. Spare limbs, spare brains, and these ears. They have overheard all Of your plans for the fall Of the world but it's us you should fear. Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes. If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"  For this one, you must get a lover away from you before you turn into a werewolf. TEN SECOND MONOLOGUE VI (any gender, mid teens through late life) You need to get out of here soon. I transform at every full moon. You know that I love you But I may need to shove you Away. Don't continue to swoon! Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes. If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"  For this one, you must determine if you are in danger, going out with a cyborg. PULP HAIKU X (any gender, mid teens through late life) Cyborg? Hold on, now: How much of that brain is yours? This date might end soon. Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes. If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage" |
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December 2016
AuthorArtistic Director Matt Haynes presents a new short monologue every day, 2016. The majority of these are gender-flexible and usable for teenagers on up. Feel free to grab any of these for your audition... or just to perform for fun. If you need to trim the beginnings or endings for time, go ahead, but please do not alter the text itself. |
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