For this one, you must try to save your city from a monster attack. Matt's note: This one was sourced from a certain movie classic as well as Menenius's speech in Act 3, Scene 1 of Coriolanus. The original text of Shakespeare's play follows this monologue.
KING (any gender, early twenties through late life)
Cancel the show. Cancel the entire run. Take him back to the island. Do it tonight.
I don't know how much money it'll cost. Cancelling the show, paying back the investors, getting the equipment and the ship together again. But I'll tell you one thing: It's going to cost SO much more if you put him out there on display.
You've never seen this creature in his world. You weren't on the island with me. This creature was a king. NOTHING held him back. He took giant lizards by the jaws and split their heads like cheap chopsticks. He swallowed innocent natives as a snack. Anybody who went up to his cliffside... they were never seen again.
Except her. I know. I know. If he can be gentle and caring with her... you think he's misunderstood deep down? A gentle giant? Maybe he was just ABUSED by his surroundings?
Alright. Show the world that there's no monster up there. Show the world they have nothing to fear. Just try to make your millions. Starting tonight. Show him OUR world: All those people out there in their tuxedos and evening gowns. Oh yes, he'll come to his senses. After an hour, he'll be cuddling the season subscribers and sipping champaign.
But you better hope that every member of the audience looks like HER. Because otherwise he's going to bring his world to US.
Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes. If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"
SOURCE TEXT
His nature is too noble for the world:
He would not flatter Neptune for his trident,
Or Jove for's power to thunder. His heart's his mouth:
What his breast forges, that his tongue must vent;
And, being angry, does forget that ever
He heard the name of death.