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Monologue 134: "Wordless Monologue II" (comedic, horrific)

5/13/2016

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Picture









For this one: You must figure out what has flown into your eye.


WORDLESS MONOLOGUE II (any gender mid-teens to late life)

[Walk a couple of paces across the stage, going somewhere]

[Turn to hit your mark, facing the audience but keep going until suddenly]

[Jerk to a halt and put your right palm over your right eye- something has flown into it]

[Take a couple of steps back onto your mark]

[Take your index finger and run it over your eyelid until you reach the left corner... you're getting the 'speck' out]

[Take your finger away from your eye. What ever hit your eye is now on your finger. Look at it. You've never seen anything like it before]

[It's now traveling down from your finger along the inside of your right arm]

[When it reaches your bicep, smack it with your left hand]

[Pinch in it between your index finger and thumb]

[Raise it up and look at it again. Keep your hand froze in place and more you head towards it]

[Widen your eyes and jerk your head back. What the hell IS this thing?]

[Move your head forward again and take a sniff. Hmmm... not bad.]

[Move your head back. Look one way then the other.]

[Move your head forward again and put the speck in your mouth. Nervously put your hands behind your back.]

[Hold your head completely still except your jaw and lips. Chew, lips closed.]

[Pause]

[Chew some more-- lips closed but bigger movements with the jaw]

[Pause-- keep your head still but widen your eyes and send your gaze toward your mouth-- has this thing actually gotten BIGGER?]

[Keep your lips closed and chew as big as you possibly can. Start breathing anxiously in with your nose]

[Chew even BIGGER until-- you take both hands from behind your back and put your palms to your mouth.]

[Open your mouth into your palms. The make sure the palms are never visible to the audience.]

[Take a look at what's in your palms. Horrified face. Whatever is in your palms is now the size of a chipmunk]

[Horrified. Has anyone seen? Look one way and then the other]

[The thing in your palms begins to move. Cup one palm over the other. The thing is wiggling in your palms. Twitch the right palm. Twitch the left palm. Repeat.]

[Hastily send your palms towards your right pocket.]

[Shove whatever is in your palms into you pocket and immediately put both palms over the pocket]

[Freeze. Look one way. Look the other.]

[Leg starts to twitch-- tickled by the thing wriggling in your right pocket]

[Take an anxious breath. Humanity must be protected from what you've expelled.]

[Walk off, limping slightly on the right side as the thing continues to twitch in your pocket.]


Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes.
If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"


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    Author

    Artistic Director Matt Haynes presents a new short monologue every day, 2016. The majority of these are gender-flexible and usable for teenagers on up. Feel free to grab any of these for your audition... or just to perform for fun. If you need to trim the beginnings or endings for time, go ahead, but please do not alter the text itself.

    Hey! Also, if you end up using one of these, drop Matt a line. We're hoping to track the spreading of our work! pulpstagematt@gmail.com

    Let's have some fun!

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