For this one: You must make the police empathize with you even though your diet is disgusting to them.
EATING HABITS (any gender, mid teens through late life)
I'm not the one you want. I'm have no desire to kill people. And believe me, I have no desire to... do those other things. That's not me.
Yeah, you found out that I have a certain diet. A certain way of eating. You got me. But guess what: I'm not ashamed of myself.
Yes, I swallow live insects.
You think it's freakish, disgusting, the sign of a psychopath? Come on. Even if there WEREN'T plenty of cultures that do this-- and there ARE-- did you ever consider the way that YOU take food? Grinding it up between your teeth, drooling saliva all around it... until the whole thing turns into this, this, this chunk of raw vomit? THEN you swallow it? Oh and might I also mention that everything you eat has been slaughtered? Vegetable or animal, you're eating corpses.
To me, what YOU do sounds one heck of a lot more similar to your killer; your cannibal killer.
But no-- in this town, all the "different" people are lumped together. We're ALL freaks, we're all dangerous. You won't let us near you so we have to hang out with each other. Do you think I WANTED to be friends with-- with...
[pause]
Yes. We were friends. He might even think that we're still friends...
[pause]
and I can lead you to him. But I want you to make sure that's where the association ENDS... and I'd like somebody to go to the pet store and get me some crickets; I'm starving.
Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes. If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"
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