For this one: You must persuade your partner to try SOMETHING new in your vampire lovemaking routine.
TRY (any gender, late teens through late life)
I didn't mean to freak you out. I just wanted to try something. It didn't turn you on. It didn't work. I get that. But you don't have to give me that look.
It's been over 400 years, right? You know I love you. I'm not going anywhere. And I'm not going to change. Okay? I just wanted to try something... different.
Sweetie, it's gotten dull for me.
I don't think YOU'RE dull. No, no, no. You still turn me on. Soooo much. It's just that the lovemaking has gotten... Well, for the last 200 years, we've been following a formula. Haven't we?
Find a victim.
Drink their blood.
Bite each other on the neck.
Drink each other's blood.
Dispose of the victim and go to sleep.
It's a beautiful act of intimacy. Yes.
I found a book that has additional ideas. Chomping down on your tongue wasn't one of them. I was trying something called Oral Circulation. You touch the tips of your fangs to the tips of your partner's fangs. You suck little bits of blood and saliva from each other's teeth. The fangs are quite sensitive and it can be a real-
Do NOT roll your eyes at me.
We talked about that. Rolling eyes means contempt. Do you have contempt because I want to go deeper? To make things fresher?
We don't have to do Oral Circulation. We don't have to do ANYTHING in the book. But baby? I'm. BORED. The first time we necked was great. The last three thousand times have felt DEAD. You rule the UN-dead? Then YOU throw in some ideas!
Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes. If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"