For this one: You must use a very unusual method to stall off being tortured and killed.
OBSESSIVE (any gender, mid teens through late life)
I get it. I get it.
You're gonna stab me with the screwdriver. But not kill me, right? You want to hear me scream. You want to hear me beg. Then you'll use the other tools. Then you'll kill me muuuuch later. Sure, sure, sure-- fine, let's get started.
Do me a favor first. Put yourself in my position. Hear me out. If you think I was wrong, then fine. I know you don't know me too well... and I know, I know: YOU'VE never dated me. But just from what I'm telling you... did I NOT have the right to feel pissed?
'Cause he went four days. FOUR DAYS without messaging me. I wasn't overbearing. I just dropped him a note on facebook: "Had a nice time. Would you like to do this again?" Real simple, right? And nothing for FOUR DAYS.
So I email him and say "What the hell?" Then he finally writes back: "Oh sorry, I'm not on facebook much." And I tell him I kinda don't believe him. I know he's active on facebook. He writes on his wall every two hours. So, BULLSHIT right? Right? And he's like: "LOL that's a little creepy." Like I'm a STALKER. I'm not a stalker. I mean YOU stalk people. It's nothing LIKE what I did right? Right? RIGHT!
Oooooh and WAIT, get this: I asked him what he meant by "creepy." And he says: "You're a bit obsessive." Do I seem obsessive?
Alright. Fine. Whatever. You don't even know me.
Let's go ahead and get started. I gotta warn you though: I still don't feel closure. I was really hoping for some validation. You can go ahead. Jam the screwdriver into me. Have your fun. But you might want to reconsider. I don't know how "into this" I'm going to be.
Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes. If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage