For this one, you must show your police chief that you are dark and mysterious enough to go undercover. Matt's note: This one is sourced from Bottom's address to the troupe in Act I, Scene 2 of A Midsummer Night's Dream. The original text follows this monologue.
DEEP (any gender, early twenties through early fifties)
Somebody's got to do it. Might as well be me. I know: You wouldn't think to look at me.
"Shane?" You're thinking: "Shane? Sweet, mild mannered, Shane? Modest little Shane? Shane the scholar? Infiltrating a gang of ruthless thugs?"
Well, chief: I don't know if you know this but... I have a DARK side. Oh yeah. I've learned to let it out on stage. This acting class I'm taking? I've been making some waves.
So: We approach my undercover persona as a CHARACTER... a really dark scary character. So cold-blooded, the other gang members will be in awe. But, like, here's the key: I don't PLAY it like I'm cold blooded. Stay with me here, I'll explain. I don't go into the warehouse, and go:
"Moowahahahah! I am one cold blooded piece of work!!!"
In the fine arts we would say that's too "on the nose."
Instead I play it like I'm nice. But nice in a really CRAZY SCARY way:
"I'm not eeeevil. I am merely an INSTRUMENT OF DEATH. People who we need to eliminate? Deeeeeath is already coming for them. And my job is to simply clear the waaaaaay."
Wow. I just totally channeled that on the spot. Fwew! Right?
You know, chief, whomever my contact is on the force? They should probably be super mentally healthy. Cause I'll need, like, a "safe harbor" for when I go too deep.
[nod sternly for a few seconds, then end the piece]
Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes. If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"
My chief humour is for a
tyrant: I could play Ercles rarely, or a part to
tear a cat in, to make all split.
The raging rocks
And shivering shocks
Shall break the locks
Of prison gates;
And Phibbus' car
Shall shine from far
And make and mar
The foolish Fates.
This was lofty! Now name the rest of the players.
This is Ercles' vein, a tyrant's vein; a lover is