For this one, you must get help from a newly-made ex to find a graveyard so you can go cry.
GRAVEYARD (any gender, mid teens through late forties)
Leave me alone!
Or help me find it.
But make up your mind.
God- [almost sob inhale] DAMNIT! It's a tiny town. Look at it! EVERYTHING should be visible from this hill. EVERYTHING.
So [almost sob, quick inhale]
Where is the GRAVEYARD? If I don't find it soon... I'm going to [almost sob, quick inhale]
And don't flatter yourself. Just because you broke up with me. I'm not being morbid. I only go to graveyards to have a little CRY. I'm surprised more people don't do it. Need to cry? Need to sob? Find a graveyard. It's DIGNIFIED to cry there. Even if the real reason is dumb. I get dumped halfway through a drive across the country? How cliche. How [almost sob, quick inhale].
And I don't care about the town's history. The graveyard's history? Only works in my favor. I'm sobbing in the "haunted graveyard"? Ooooooo. Maybe people will think I'm wrestling with demons. Then they'll really leave me alone.
But I'm not going to [almost sob, quick inhale],
I'm not going to cry up HERE. I'm not giving you the guilt trip. I'm going to be [almost sob, quick inhale],
I'm going to be FINE. So you want to "still be friends"? You still are "totally into" finishing this road trip? FINE. Come on then.
Let's find the place, then you leave me the [almost sob, quick inhale],
alone so I can get some corpse therapy.
Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes. If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"
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