For this one, you must talk a two year old down from the top of a tree.
BRANCHES (any gender, early twenties through late life)
Nicolas! It's alright. I'm here. Just stay where you are. Give the tree trunk a great big bear hug. I'm coming up. I'll be right there in no time. One branch at a time, child. One at a time. Remember we're learning numbers?
I'll climb the first branch.
Then the second branch.
Good lord you really ARE high up. How in God's name did you- no, no, no! Nicholas, don't move! Remember, we're HUGGING the tree. Put your little arms back around the trunk, Nicolas. Around the TRUNK.
Alright, maybe you can come down to me.
Yes, yes, yes. Just always keep one hand on the tree and come down. One branch at a time. You're on the... oh Lord... you're on the twentieth branch... sooooo now just down on the nineteenth... Good!
You really are quite quick at this.
Yes... ha! Yes, it is fun, isn't it. Look at that smile. Keep going, now.
Twel- twel- twel don't stop, Nicolas. NICHOLAS... we' going DOWN. That's not down, child, that's sideways. That's the end of the branch, that's not safe, you need to hold on-- NICHOLAS!!! We are NOT FLYING. NOW LEAVE THE AIR AND COME DOW-
Nicolas, you're fly- oh dear.
Nicholas, just float down here, alright? I'll make you a pudding when we get home. Alright? Then we have a lot to talk about.
Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes.
If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"