For this one, you must get your friend back on your side to find a missing child.
SCHIZOPHRENIA (any gender, mid teens through early twenties)
Shane, I'm not taking sides. You're my best friend. How many times do I have to say that? All I'm saying is that you're wrong this time.
Iris? We all know she was hospitalized. She's not well, I agree. But she's not schizophrenic. I don't know if you were kidding or what but... but... look:
You never met my dad, right? He was hospitalized when I was two years old. My dad has schizophrenia. I researched the disease all my life...
Dad doesn't trust people; Iris trusts everyone in this camp. Almost to a fault.
Dad misreads people; Iris... we've both seen how she can almost read campers' minds, do just the right thing to calm them down when they're upset, get a game revving up again when they're bored.
And my dad is distracted by almost everything. Iris is always focused on the job. Almost to a fault. I mean when camp began and you tried to hit on her...
Shane, is this part of it? Why you're convinced she's crazy? God! Because she ignored you! Don't roll your eyes at me. You're blushing. Jesus, you're blushing! It's dark as hell out here but I can still tell.
Shane, you need to grow up. We've got-- what-- about five hours to find a missing camper before all hell breaks loose. If Iris has some ideas about what happened... I know they're kind of spooky ideas, but we've got to give her a listen.
We were hired here as camp COUNSELORS, as a TEAM, Shane. We weren't hired to be overgrown campers, just with extra freedom to get nookie or get each other fired.
I'm going back to the staff hut.
I'm going to here Iris out.
You've got five hours to grow up, my friend.
You can save yourself some time and come with me now.
Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes. If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"