For this one, you must get status info on your crush while monitoring an eccentric camper.
CHECK IN (any gender mid teens to early twenties)
Iris, hey. Can I- um- can I check in about something? Real quick. REAL quick. I totally know you're busy. We're all busy. But I just wanted to know. Um-- God, this is stupid but... you and Jake. Are you two...?- hang on.
Johnny! The cleanup bell was five minutes ago! You need to be back in your cabin and helping the other boys clean up. It's not fair if they have to do it without you. Go. GO!
(God, that kid, I swear. What planet did his grandma raise him on?)
But yeah... so, about Jake. He and I go back a ways. Not as- I mean TOTALLY not as, like, a couple. We just grew up in the same neighborhood. Sort of like siblings really- yuck. Okay, not that. So... but I saw you two-- I wasn't like spying or STALKING. HA! But at the staff hut through the window I saw... it seemed like you two were maybe kissing--?
Johnny! I told you to go BACK. TO. YOUR. CABIN. I see you making your finger drawings in the dirt and we all appreciate your art but that's not what I'm asking you to do, buddy. Go help IN YOUR CABIN. Okay buddy? Good job, now go, go, go.
God this is so stupid. And it's totally not my business what you two were doing. I just wanted to check in... are you two, like, going out? I haven't had a chance to hang out with Jake for a while so I don't know what's going on with him and it's totally his right to not hang out with me. But I just wanted to know because... because I think you're really cool and if you two are an item then I can, you know, I can get out of the way... like I was "in the way"? Ha-- really I don't have feelings for-
Johnny! Did you understand anything I was saying? Take your finger out of the dirt and-- Jesus. Johnny. That's fire. What-
His finger's on fire. What the hell--
Johnny! Put your finger back in the dirt! Cover it up. We're coming now!
How the hell did this happen, what did we miss?
Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes.
If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"