For this one, you must get a fellow vampire out of your way.
FUN (any gender, mid teens through late life)
Max, you really are a boring enemy, you know that? I bare my fangs, you turn into fog. What is that, your vampire version of passive resistance? I can tell you it won't save that village. I do love to suck an entire village dry but it really isn't fun when another vampire is planning to fight me... so. Boringly.
Boring. Max, you are boring. Why do you insist on acting like you have dignity? That of all the vampires in the world, you're the one who cares about mortals? What have they done for you? And think about what I myself could do for you. Work under me and we can have so much fun. All it would take is you stopping this fog business. Bare your neck to me and I will bite and push you all the way into my league of strength. Work for me!
[pause]
No? Well then you will do as you please. And you will suffer. You can't stop me going down to the village. You can only annoy me as I fend you off. And I will still feed. And you will get to watch. You don't want that.
Perhaps if you go to the next village, you'll have a head start in warning the people. If they don't make you a laughing stock. You poor thing. Now please drift aside before this conversation puts me to sleep.
Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes.
If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"