MORAL MAGIC (any gender, mid-teens on up)
Okay, you know what Johnny? I lied: I don't feel bad that someone turned you into toad.
You know why? Because of all the magic you can do, the toad thing is your biggest source of power. You use that disgusting sob story like a two-lane steamroller squashing anyone who's trying to... to... to... trying to do something original, dammit!
"It is never okay to mix goblin powder with healing herbs. Speaking as someone who was turned into a TOAD-- blah, blah, blah"
"The day I was turned into a TOAD was the day I swore to warn all magicians about- blah, blah, blah."
"You can never understand the impact of a spell gone wrong unless you've been on the other side of it. Like me. I don't know if any of you knew this but I myself was TURNED INTO A TOAD."
And then it's all "BOO-HOO, I'm so sorry Johnny, shame on ME, of COURSE I'll only practice magic according to your rules- did I do this right? Did I do that right? I didn't? Then pleeease, Johnny, pleeeease tell me how I can do it bet-"
God, Johnny, it's not like I'm going to be prancing around turning men into toads just because I... I don't always know what I'm doing.
Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes.
If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"