For this one, you must make sure that a new year's party stays under your puppetry powers.
NEW YEAR (any gender, early twenties through late life)
One minute left everyone!
I said "one minute left."
Put fingers to lips.
Good. Smile. Good.
Keep heads in same postion... but turn bodies towards big screen TV.
Now turn heads to big screen TV.
Put drinks down, anticipating the new year's hug. I don't want my apparment messy with sloshing alchohol.
Jennifer, put drink down.
Put drink dow-
Jennifer, head turns to big screen-
Jennifer, turn body away from me and back to the-
Doug. Turn body away from me and back to--
Ashley, turn body--
Do not LOOK at each other. You will not focus on each other. You will not seek explanation from each other.
This is MY party. MY party. You will turn-
Okay, maybe you're awake now? But it's just for fun, you guys. Don't ruin it for the other twenty people here. I just want my party. When you have my powers, life can be lonely and I just--
Jennifer, put the cake knife down. Doug, no nodding at Jennifer.
Okay, ball is dropping when all of us count down from ten you will cease this rebellion and join the party.
Why aren't they-
Look at the TV, everyone!
Everyone. Everyone. EVERYONE: YOU WILL ALL NOW BE HAPPY!
Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes.
If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"