ORIENTATION (any gender, mid twenties to late life)
Freshman orientation; "the camping trip." College, right? Pranks! Hell yeah! Establish yourselves, cut the losers down to size. Melt down some peanut butter and pour it on the idiot's sleeping bag while he's tanked out. Wait a couple of hours and when scholarship boy wakes up, he's buried in skunks and he screams like a little girl. Kick. Ass!
But on his end? That scream gets him at least three doses of all natural mace being sprayed directly into his eyes, into his nose and into his mouth. Oh, and something you never would have considered, I'm sure, but this kid happens to have, uh, this condition where... when shit like that hits his lungs? They close up.
But you or your new circle are too busy laughing and howling and "Oh I am totally not getting near that-" so the kids lungs? They stay closed and his heart stops.
Never considered that end, huh? Nope. You all never do. And I see so many of your kind go on to wipe out so many more people on an even bigger scale and it goes on and on with each generation? Well, I'm going to make sure even daddy can't bail you out of this one.
Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes.
If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"