WATER SPRITE (any gender, mid teens to late life)
The life of a water sprite? Overall?
[pause]
I mean, it's good. It's definitely good. You get to herd fish, start storms, give sailors all kinds of interesting hallucinations, it's definitely fun.
[pause]
And you would be GREAT at it, believe me. I mean, with your record as a land fairy you would catch on in no time. By the way, I'm kind of a major fan of your work.
And Poseidon... he's...
you know he's cool. Totally cool, nicest guy in the world. It's just that every now and then, he's got a temper but that only happens when, well, it's hard to say, I mean he IS a water God so he's naturally unstable but we're ALL unstable to a certain extent,
I mean that's the thing about the sea, it just ebbs and flows
and your jobs kind of ebb and flow with it
and you really don't get rest hours,
I mean you DO but they get interrupted pretty easily
because well, Poseidon is kinda trigger happy with the typhoons and the krakens
and then we've got to clean up the mess in addition to all the other-
Look:
In good conscience, I can't recommend this job, okay? It sucks. But I'd also really like to work with you, I think it would keep me sane so... I dunno, should I just ask you to ignore everything I just said?
Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes.
If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"