Matt's note: This one is intended to be a part of a Summer Camp horror play.
LAUGH (any gender, mid teens to mid twenties)
[look at focal point #1]
Oh my God-aHAHAHAHAHAHAA! I think-- AHAH-- think you get the prize Jacob, I mean I thought the guy was pathetic but did he real- AHAHAAH...
[breath]
Ahhhh....
[look at focal point #2]
What, Shelly? Doooo yooooou... not think that's funny?
Shelly, do you have a PROBLEM with what we're doing?
[look at focal point #1]
Hang on Jacob, I just wanna get something clear here. 'Cause I thought your Stan story was flippin' hilarious. And I don't feel like I should feel bad about that. I think all the Stan stories so far have been hilarious and I think all the rest of us were having a good healthy laugh. And I don't think we should feel bad about our sense of humor.
[look at focal point #2]
But that's what I'm getting from you Shelly. That's what I'm getting from that face. THIS face.
[make an exaggerated ace of humorless judgement]
I know what the face means, Shelly, you think we're being what? -- disrespectful?
Disrespectful?
Shelly STAN is not here. Stan is not going to know about this. Is he? What good would that do?
[look at focal point #1]
We're just blowing off some steam, aren't we? It's been a stressful summer, hasn't it? Stan's partly responsible for that, isn't he? I don't think we're being disrespectful, I think we're staying sane. Actually the only disrespect I think is happening...
[look at focal point #2]
... is with YOU, Shelly.
I mean you don't have to be here, but you're here. You're hanging out with us. You knew we were going to play a round of "Stan Stories" and you still stayed. You've been here the last hour making that face. In my opinion, the respectful thing is to either leave or... or at least pretend you find this funny.
'Cause otherwise you're just making everyone uncomfortable, Shelly. You stuck around this whole time making that face, I think you owe us a couple of laughs.
I don't care if you mean it or not, I want to hear you laugh Shelly.
It won't kill you, just do it, you might like it.
Laugh!
Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes.
If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"