THE SOCK (any gender, mid 20s on up)
So I haven’t slept for the last two days, right? Rodney doesn’t really care about you getting any sleep, he wants you to be ready at all times for the hand off.
So okay: Deal goes fine and I cross the border no problem, but I am like more tired than I’ve ever been. I mean I am about to swerve off the road and impale myself on a cactus. And it’s five more hours to my place and I gotta get back tonight because it’s a Sunday and I gotta get up and teach the next morning.
Now I could pull off and get a hotel, but that just means I’d get- what- 3 hours of sleep? I deserve better.
So what do I do? I pull over, I kick off a shoe, I peel off my sock, stuff that mother right into my mouth and floor the gas.
I go at like 90 miles an hour just huffing this rancid thing and I’m screaming non-stop:
and I kid you not, I was back at my apartment in just under two hours, sleeping like a baby- and do NOT look at me like I’m being weird my friend, ‘cause you know what?
I just want you to know... you do a job for Rodney? Do the job. But don’t forget to treat yourself right.
Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes
If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"