You must set your best friend straight about your temper.
Matt's note: This one was sourced from Mercutio's "quarrel speech" in Romeo and Juliet
SHORT FUSE (any gender, mid teens to late twenties)
Oh, no, no, no... you are the one with a short fuse, my friend.
You’d freaking slay your own mother if the dominoes lined up. I can see it, totally see it.
She tries to help you with the dishes- PWAW you shove her away ‘cause she’s mommying you. She apologizes- BSSSH! Dish hits the wall behind her because she’s being spineless. She comes back at you, PKK! You bust her nose up into her brain.
You don’t think it could happen? No?
Did you not buy a set of brass knuckles when we started working downtown? Did you not take them out every time someone looked at you the wrong way? And last Friday when- shut up- when that guy tried to mug me, did you not get ready to bring those things down on his head? If I hadn’t smashed him in the groin then choked him out, you might have given him a concussion. Seconds away from cracking his SKULL.
But noooo, now that I’m carrying a gun, it’s all
“are you sure, Chris?”
“I’m just saying, Chris.”
“You’ve got a short fuse Chris.”
You snotty, self righteous HYPOCRITE!
Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes
If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"