For this one, you must soothe yourself on the first day of your kingdom's war.
DAY OF REST (any gender, late twenties through late life)
General, I'm not telling you this in jest. I know that the war starts today. But as your ruler, I've been under great strain and... and I've decided to spend the rest of today in bed. I'll be in bed with a book. And the dogs. I'll send for them later. I'll need you to substitute me and provide the rousing speech to mobilize our kingdom. You can do it--
Now stop giving me that look. The people will see that right on your face. Granted, I myself am a bit surprised at my decision. But the book I'm reading speaks of the importance of self care. Self care in the moment. And at this moment, all I wish is to be in bed with my book and my dogs and--
No, no, no...hear me, general, I do not intend to spend the ENTIRE war idling in my chamber. I care about this kingdom but I'm of no use to anyone unless I get some REST. Tomorrow, I shall be refreshed and doubly ready to lead us from the SECOND day of the war on through to our victorious--
Oh do NOT simply bow your head and nod.
I can see your judgement through that countenance. Yes, I can. Oh yes, I CAN! Look sonny, you think being a general is hard? How long have you been a general, eh? Ten years? I've been ROYALTY my ENTIRE LIFE, with never a thought for anything except the good of my people and, and, and you know something? I don't have to explain myself to the likes of you. I am TAKING CARE of myself today and if you have to lose the first battle, so BE IT. Now get you gone. Get you gone! My FIRST kingdom resides in my body and my mind and I am the ruler so--
Wait a moment. Don't go quite yet.
Huh. I actually have much more energy, now.
Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes.
If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"