For this one: You must find the perfect phrasing to motivate a city-wide evacuation from alien invaders.
EVACUATION (any gender, mid-teens through late life)
The question: How do we motivate an evacuation? In our broadcast. We must not tell the earthlings:
"Your city is about to be overtaken.
"We are really aliens.
"We are the good aliens.
"However the bad ones are coming.
"You must evacuate."
This will not work. We must reach these American earthlings through their aesthetics within the English language. Please send samples from popular films into my cognitive system...
Now receiving sample one. I shall recite it to test its so-called "flow."
"So me you do not love?" Spoken by great actor Robert DeNiro. No workable context and awkward flow. Next
"Get in the chopper." A popular line from movies characteristic of Austrian action star. Appropriate and good flow. Sadly, action star has declined in favor and we do not have a so-called "chopper."
"Come on Sam, we gots to roll!" Good urgency and flow. However, my use of Ebonics may be seen as either patronizing or mocking.
"Errybody got AIDS and shit." NO! Next
"Love means never having to say you're sorry" In addition to the illogic of this sentence, it is better used by enemy takeover, not evacuation. Please re-check appropriateness for evacuation.
"Fire at will!" A decent defense line for police and military. However their effectiveness cannot compete with the lasers of the enemy ships. What's more, this command may be easily misunderstood to mean that all people named "Will" shall be targeted.
Let us abandon the search for popular quotes and simply shorten our warning with an urgent suggestion.
"Ladies and gentlemen, 'let's get out of here'."
Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes.
If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"