STRIKE THREE (any gender, mid-twenties to late forties)
Give me one good reason why I should let you guys in. When we were kids-- just a sec--
--Jessie! Put down the suitcase, and stay in the living room, please!
--When we were kids you both called me a dork. When I invested in this property you made fun of me. Now you two have gotten yourselves mixed up with a gang and you want to hide in my house. The house you made fun of. The house that the gang is going to shoot up if I take you two in. The house that my fiancee is trying to leave, because of all the nonsense you two have--
--No. NO! Jessie, don't come any closer. If I let you out, then those two are going to bust in here and a gang is going to lay siege to this place. Yes, I should have told you I had two siblings. Yes I should have told you they were royal screw ups. The answer is not to run out on me. The answer is to put down the suitcase, pick up a phone and call the cops, Jessie. Then you and I are going to finish our dinner and watch Netflix; I'd rather not see an action movie tonight but you still get to pick, okay?
Copyright 2016 by Matt Haynes.
If you would like to use this piece, please credit: "Courtesy of Matt Haynes and The Pulp Stage"